Tuesday, January 1, 2013

"Peace" of happy?

"Every act of love is a work of peace, no matter how small." -Mother Teresa
     I know, I know, here is this girl starting her very first blog with a quote from Mother Teresa. We've seen it done, we've heard it, enough already, right? Well, for me it is less of an attempt at looking superior or self righteous,(as some who enjoy slinging quotes do,) and more of an attempt to explain my reason for being. It's my reason for everything and surely if I begin a blog on such a simple and profound basis, then I'm bound to stay true to myself, and my readers. I admire Mother Teresa very much. She gives me hope even years now after her passing. She was such an inspiration to many and still is. I'm not always peaceful. I'm not always loving.  I can be quick tempered, stubborn and sometimes a little self seeking. I like to think it doesn't happen often, but you'll have to ask my dear husband. I won't pretend I'm God's gift to grammar and punctuation, so good luck reading this without cringing.  I'll be the first to admit I bite off way more than I can chew, but when the good Lord asks something of us, he always gives us the means to do it.

     I can almost feel it right now. These ambitions, these dreams, are floating just above my reach, beckoning me to reach up and grab hold of them.  Why do I feel called to DO these things?! I don't have  time, I'm out of energy, but there they stay, noisily. Do you ever feel that way? It's not until I raise my hands and grasp the very tail of them, pull myself up and begin working, when I hear it. There it is. Peace. This is where I am truly happy.  Please don't misinterpret. None of these things are easy. On the contrary, they're some of the most difficult things I have accepted and worked for. However, in their own right, each one of these things bring peace.

     My husband and I home-school our three children. Yes, you read that right. Can you believe it? Two girls and a boy... and chickens and a bunny and cats and a dog, and that sweet little nest of cardinals that have taken up residence in our tree out back. I enjoy spending my days with my kids. They're always teaching me something important, usually VERY important. Okay, now enough gawking and judging the 'crazies.' Pick your jaws up off the floor and wait for the next bomb shell I have for you. My husband and I own a business. (((crickets chirping in the distance)))

     We do! And let me tell you, if you ever have aspirations of owning a business JUST so you can display twinkle lights in the windows the way Meg Ryan did in the movie You've Got Mail, don't do it!!!  Owning a business is full of paper work, deadlines, licenses and legalities and if you don't like that kind of thing, then forget you ever had the notion. I, however, have reaped MUCH more than money can buy by diving into this business adventure. I have made some of the dearest friends and met some of the best people in this entire world, no lie. We have an over abundance of good people in our lives, colleagues AND patrons. I wouldn't trade my little shop for the world. I thank God everyday for it, well... most days. Alright, one last bombshell... my husband doesn't work for our family business.

     Nope, every weekday morning, he gets up, dressed, and makes a nearly 45 minute morning commute to his office where he works for someone else. Not me! Really!? He had the nerve to go get a job that requires him to spend every week day of the week slaving away as Mr. Smarty Pants with a 5 star gym and several restaurants, while I home school and run the "family business!" (gasp!) Well, before you decide to jump to my defense, (you know you want to,) know this... he provides and I am SPOILED. (I like to call it blessed.)

     He does more for this family and this home than I ever expected from a husband. We've been married nearly ten years, that's not counting the four years of courtship before, and he just keeps astonishing me with what he has to give our family. I love him. His love his humbling. I wouldn't make it a day without him. Okay, enough is enough, even I can feel the nausea radiating from the truth in the words I speak.
     Well, I hope I haven't rambled on too much for a first time post. I also pray you'll recover from all of the "shock and awe" I've presented today. I hope to get the hang of this "blogging thing" soon.  I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts and comments, at least I think I would. Please take the time to subscribe and respond, even if it is a booger to do.  I'm short on words now, and even shorter on sleep, (By the way, Happy New Year!) So, I'll leave you with this...
    Do you ever feel called to do things that you just can't seem to find the time or the energy for, or worse, don't even WANT to do?  How have you loved today? How will you love tomorrow? What peace comes from it all?  I will tell you, that when you find a way to weave a whole heart for yourself out of love, that is when the clanging in the atmosphere around you, no matter how loud and chaotic, will cease. That's where you too will find your little 'peace' of happy.